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LOVE is always the answer – a couple of therapist Sharon Brehm in an interview
June 26, 2019, 11:43
All you need is Love, Love, Love – Love is all you need.
Looking Big Love? Or you've already found them and need help in restoring your relationship to life balance to bring? Then open your eavesdroppers:
A 29-year-old from Munich Sharon Brehm (careful Mucbook readers, name is known, because she was also active as author for us) is a couple of therapists and A coach for love training. With her company "Love Moves" He treats couples who need a cool breeze in their relationship. Or it helps individuals find their great love.
We wanted to know more about the genus from Munich and her work – and have it few questions under condition.
How old are you and where are you from?
I am 29 and Münchner Kindl. For the first ten years I grew up in Sendling.
How did you come to become a par-therapist?
I always thought the theme of love was exciting. Because it affects us all and because we are feeling such an explosion through them. This is possible only in several other areas. Working as a par-therapist and a love coach now feels like connecting two parts.
In parallel, I worked as a systematic consultant and trainer. What I like about systemic therapy is that she is no longer a person "sick" by itself, rather than analyzing the system or context in which she is. Most people think they behave differently with their parents than when they are studying or working. Throughout this philosophy, in my opinion, so-called aha effect and positive changes are much easier.
What did you do before you worked as a love coach?
I wrote a dissertation on binational pairs. Understanding is that love is not just feeling but ability. And skills can be trained and improved. Unfortunately, at school or at university you do not learn what it's like to love.
If this is a problem, it is a fact that emotional alienation is the most common reason for divorce. That is why I decided to offer workshops to make love tangible. According to the motto "Caring is better than treatment".
How do your works look like?
The idea of the workshop is to give practical tips and suggestions that this would not have happened. In addition, I think it is important that the workshop itself is fun and can be directly integrated into everyday life – a kind of date for brave, curious couples. It is held in the evening during the week, lasts between three and four hours and is located in exciting locations with charm (such as the new Mucbook clubhouse).
The goal is to discover yourself as a couple: couples try out the communication rituals directly to see if it is for them. Or they playfully reflect their values. Because at the beginning of the relationship we talk a lot about ourselves as a person. If we think we know the person we're in, we'd rather talk about the evening. Of course we are constantly changing.
Exercises are designed to be first implemented with a partner or partner. In the second step everyone is invited to say in the group what was good and what changed during the exercise. In this way, I hope that positive exchange will take place, that couples will learn and inspire each other. But as I said, this is an invitation to share as much as you like or how much you want. For very personal things I recommend the therapy of couples – which takes place in a more personal environment and then we have enough time and space to develop individual solutions.
What customers can you imagine as a couple of therapists in your business?
It's hard to scrape people over the comb. Problems with love and relationships, everyone has ever experienced. What all my clients bring with them: They want to be happy again in their love life and are open for help from the outside. Then I use them to systematically empower people to create an authentic, happy or lively relationship they want.
Do you only come up with pairs or singles? What's happening more often?
Whether one comes as one, with or without his or her person, it simply depends on the subject. From hour to hour I discuss which constellation makes sense. For example, if it is a recent injury or disassembly, I recommend that you connect. It also wants to develop together. But when it comes to injuries from previous ties or past, it is better to come alone to carry with us.
What is your most fun or most impressive experience that happened to you during your work?
When you come to me, that's usually because there's been a lot of things going on – and it always touches me. This is just one of the disadvantages of empathy. At the same time, I am astoundingly optimistic and I believe that good humor – especially when partnership is so bad – is also good.
You also advise on "bi-national relations?" – What are the difficulties here?
From my experience, three aspects are particularly important for binational or cosmopolitan pairs: first, balance and balance are the issues that binational couples often have to deal with. Especially when a part moved to Germany for a relationship, sometimes it raises the question of whether someone "has given up too much": family, friends, business. Likewise, one or other is also feeling under pressure, aNow someone is responsible for the benefit of one or the other. Of course, this is not an easy situation.
Secondly, there is often a so-called cultural shock. And also the missing home can burden the relationship. The third point becomes relevant when a couple wants to have children: In what language do we raise our child? With which religion? Is it perhaps better to go to another country because the other part of the family should have something of a child or support it in education?
But despite all the difficulties, one must not forget that bilingual couples bring with them many important resources. You've already survived the distance link and the legal process for submitting a visa application. And they are very open, they like to see the world's eyes of another person, they are interested in other languages, lands and customs. This is a good basis for resolving conflicts.
Where are your meetings held? With couples at home or in an appropriate therapy room?
I have a workout room three minutes away from Marienplatz, so central.
How does your session look? What awaits you when you come to the therapy for you?
Change perspective. If I can guarantee something, then you have a different view of yourself and the relationship after that. But you have to be ready and open. I work on the solution and I use not only theoretical models of science, but above all systemic methods.
I use ropes and initiate constellation with couples – this is a bit unusual but very effective to rethink the dynamics of the relationship. And, of course, we also talk about feelings so that they can understand their own way of dealing with them and their origin. And well, with the topic of love you might want to talk about feelings.
Sharon is involved July 23rd from 18:30 clock also in ours new club to run a workshop of this kind. And so on July 8 Can you turn it off? 18:30 clock in Waldmeisterei in Barerstraße 74 Visit one of the Sharon Workshops.
For more information about the Mucbook Club: here.
Photos © unsplash.com, lovemoves.de