Blonde woman smiling at camera. Her voice sounds warm, "Christian – I love you. Thank you for always being there for me … and you are." Suddenly, she rolled her curls, her eyes flashing, "And it was great to hit me on the ass so you otherwise, we would never have taken this fantastic tour to Italy. That's where you came from, Lisa. My beautiful, smart daughter! You are my greatest fortune! I would love to see what you keep doing. you're getting married. But it sure doesn't allow this fucking disease. "The woman looked away for a moment. Fighting for calm before standing up:" So – and now promise me you'll always remember me as you do now. As a healthy woman. "
I would love to see what you keep doing. Who you fall in love with, who you marry. But it certainly does not allow this fucking disease.
Patient with dementia Ines in a "farewell video" from her daughter Lisa
Christian pauses the movie, enters the kitchen and mumbles something about "coffee." But Lisa knows her father is crying. "It's so unfair that Mom is so sick. She's too young for dementia. But she may come up with a cure soon." The 18-year-old knows it won't happen on time. But she wants to make sure of herself. Especially when she returns from a visit to her mother and it's unclear if she perceives it at all. Sometimes, when Lisa is desperate, she makes a video to see her mother as she was. And sometimes, like today, her father sits down and holds her hand. "Then we talk about his new architectural designs or my education to distract us, "says the 18-year-old." Fortunately, I do so much in my apprenticeship as a publisher's assistant that I forget everything about my mom, "says Lisa." But it's really always in my head. "
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Lots of unsatisfactory diagnoses
Ines scared many doctors because she felt unusually tired and flashy. She barely managed to do bookkeeping for her clients. Ines has been working as a tax accountant since Lisa's birth from home. In fact, it worked well. But the fatigue was getting worse. And strange emotional fluctuations besides which she suffered. The doctor pressed for depression. The next suspected iron deficiency, a third wanted to send them to two therapists. Ines the gynecologist believed, "These may be menopause."
But Ines found all the assumptions unsatisfactory and explored herself in online forums. Was she maniacally depressed? She finally went to a young neurologist who Ines also asked about her family medical history. And when she told him that her grandparents had Alzheimer's in the mid-'60s, he frowned. Ines jumped in horror, "You probably don't believe I inherited that?"
At some point she gave up …
But after the test, her fear for safety: Ines suffered from dementia. With almost 50! At first, she denied it, fighting the diagnosis with her hands and feet. He changed his diet, tried homeopathy, downloaded brain-running quiz applications on his phone. But at some point she gave up. She became more and more forgetful.
Christian spoke to the boss and managed to reduce his hours. "I wanted to be there for Ines, cook for her, help her get dressed. Be with her when she was running around at night." Lisa volunteered to help her mother in household and nursing and delayed her education for another year. "I was always afraid. that she will run out into the street when she is home alone. "
Home, an apartment with dementia – a difficult step
After a year, Christian decided to take the difficult step: he enrolled his wife in an apartment for dementia. "It just couldn't be done – financially and psychologically." As if he needed her consent, Christian once again made a video and looked to the point where his wife stubbornly stares at the camera and assures, "If only I would put a ton of weight into my world, then please bring me home. Please for that! is an awful thought that I will not recognize you one day. "
Further information on this topic from the German Alzheimer's Society:
Do the young differ from the old?
"The range of patients with dementia is large. While older people have 60 percent of Alzheimer's disease, younger people have about 13 percent who suffer from so-called frontotemporal dementia, which is often not recognized. The first symptom is not forgetfulness, but personality change: people become indifferent, impulsive and insensitive. They are often unobstructed and suddenly appear tactless. This often leads to misdiagnosis such as depression or mania. "
How best to help the sick?
"The German Alzheimer's Association provides information on the disease with many brochures – for example, on topics such as finance, living space adjustment or security. It is often comfortable for sick people, their partners and children to talk to other people in self-help groups. it can also be psychological counseling – especially for children who often find it difficult to handle parental change. "
Why are relatives talking to you?
"Most financial cuts are a huge problem – especially if one parent is failing as money. Also, worrying brings many families to the brink of existence. But it's also very nice how flexible young partners care about the care and creative models they consider, so it manages to keep the sufferer within its four walls. "
Should young patients be brought home?
"Particularly with younger patients, the problem is that there are no special facilities for them. And, of course, it's not easy for 50-year-olds to live in a home together with mostly over 80-90 year olds. But dementia rebels are slowly growing and more appear, they can be an alternative. "
Links to the Internet
Assistance to relatives and patients is available from the German Alzheimer's Association: www.deutsche-alzheimer.de
Information about Munich's mid-life dementia project can be found at: www.agm-online.de/alz-hilfe-junge.html
Deals for younger people with dementia: http://www.demenz-service-nrw.de/ag-menschen-in-der-fruehen-phase-der-demenz.html